The backdrop music for the movie(Vicky Cristina Barcelona) was very interesting for me, this is the 3rd movie of its type I have watched so far. And they all have this type of music, like someone is telling a very intelligent story. I don’t have the words for it, if we think of a child and the vocal/music of a village bio-scope, and then keep the same chemistry but change the scene and its participants with me and the movie and the music, we may reach somewhere near the shore of my emotional effects.
The thing Juan said about his father’s unwillingness to speak other languages was so much interesting, so much logical and its so new to me, that its polluting to speak other tongue. That one dialogue fascinated me so much. And how vicky rationalise the idea is also very fresh to me.
The whole movie felt so real and and like no scripting involved. Their conversations were so beautiful, like they were coming out naturally, like no plot involved, some fraction of some people’s life simply in front of my eyes, to intimidate me to contemplate on life, revisit my thoughts and ideas. Not necessarily changing them , but finding a little more meaning, a little more appreciation for it. Life truely is a piece of art, where we can be both the creator and the enjoyer. You just have to have the feel for it.
“I am full of real emotions and I have to find a way to express it.” It was my feelings for so long time until I let it go that I am simply not gifted enough, I have the eye, the ear, the touch to enjoy it, but the path to the creation of art always kept itself illusive to me.
Its also scary that how much I can relate to cristina, till some times of my life, before I stopped living it. I was/still am so confused, who I am , what my beliefs are. Am I being pretentious in whatever I am doing?
But at the last it seems like there is nothing perfect or lasting in the space of art/restlessness/ever-searching-for-something-missing. As long as you are in that dimension, the “finally”, “found”, “lasting”, “forever” are not in the dictionary. As the narrator said “Thoughts began to take precedence over feelings”.
Just like this post, though I am typing I am still feeling confused about my feelings of the movie, or the feelings it stirred up. I am being unable to define those. And feeling so lost and pathetic for the lack of talent to express my emotions. Like rage/disappointment/any negative things unexpressed creates imbalance so does the lack of expression for strong emotions. It feels like I don’t know the language let alone the grammar and the longer I wait, the sooner I dissipates little by little.
